Derelict Junction

Providing missile launch codes for foreign cryptographers everywhere.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

4 Weeks Down...

...less than 7 hours to go. In the words of Willie Nelson, "Whisky River, take my mind."

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Greatest Joke of All Time Nominee #3

This is a recent one, they don't have to be old to be classics. Like the last nominee, it's a joke that causes you to laugh and nod your head because it's true.

Here we go:
On the Simpsons a few weeks ago, Bart decides to start his own T-Shirt business (which, btw seems to be the thing to do nowadays, check out Garth's new line of T-Shirts: Piximix).
Anyway, Bart goes to a T-Shirt convention only to have his booth crushed by Krusty's mega-booth next to him. Krusty then appears on a wall of television screens and he says,
"Krusty Show T-Shirts are made for kids, by kids! And we pass the slavings (wink) on to you!"
For a further look into slave-wage clothing lines, including Kathy Lee Gifford's line of children's clothing, rent the brilliant new documentary, The Corporation. Not funny, but incredibly eye-opening. Pair it up with The Yes Men and start your own personal anti-globalization movement.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Media Hangover...

Thanks to King Hoopty (Doug) for the link:

Infomania Abuse

Man, I stayed up last night blogging and watching Headline News, and boy am I hung over! Look at the picture I drew while watching the NFL Draft preview, high on information last night:

I may have to go to rehab.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Cold Blooded!

Even John Freitas admitted this is screwed up:

Vermont Shop Class

Read the last paragraph to learn this kid's motivation.

Friday, April 15, 2005

'Round Town Blogging

When you've been sober for two weeks, strange ideas start to creep into your head like, "Maybe I'll go on a bike ride." Here's what happens when someone's been so malnurished:

SBC Park.

Past the Bay Bridge.


Fort Mason.

The Marina and Chrissy Field

Fort Point, under the Golden Gate.

Over the bridge and back.

Through the Presidio.

Back to the Mission.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

The Worst Music in the World.

Thanks (I think) to Sean for the link. I dare you to sit through this steaming pile of shit:

Pure Suffering.

Move over, Christian Rock! There's a new contender for "Shittiest Music Genre", Patriotism Rock. Please note the use of religious iconography, like angels, but from a jingoist perspective. Obviously, god is on our side, not on the side of those religious, nutball terrorists.

Friday, April 08, 2005

You cannot escape your marketing destiny!

As rumored, here are some photos of Star Wars marketing in action. I think you'll all agree, Mr. Lucas doesn't lend his work to just anyone, only those who's checks clear.

These are all-right, but I have a feeling it's the calm before the marketing storm, or as Dave Attell says, "That type of quiet right before a hooker pisses on you." As we get closer to opening day, I'm sure things will pick up and the marketing choices will get even funnier.

Some advice, though, if you head to the market to gather photos, as I did, make sure your Ipod is fully charged. Mine konked out halfway through the store, making this endeavor infinitely more pathetic. It's definitely fun when jamming out to Death From Above 1979, not so much to supermarket muzak.

Here ya go:

Going to see Revenge of the Sith is a lot like playing the lottery, in that you lose a lot.

A very confused Wookie.

The Powers of an ancient Jedi.

Droids love Cheese!

Mark Hamill? Ewoks? Check the expiration date.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Unlike CalTrains Operators... exaggeration. This is the Bay Meadows "train station":

"Have a good day in San Mateo, sir!"

For more Beer and Loathing in San Mateo chonicles, check out Drew's blog entry here: