Derelict Junction

Providing missile launch codes for foreign cryptographers everywhere.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Wood Elves and Druids



'Went to the wedding the tabloids said would never happen this weekend, that of Ambrose Gallagher and Leslie Hodges. Unlike the photo above, though, they were not married by famous Bond villain, Richard Kiel. The setting was the Trinity Mountains up Mount Shasta way, which does provide quite a view, as the two hostages above can attest. And despite the beautiful natural surroundings, there were no Wood Elves or Druids in attendance, just transplanted urbanites falling all over each other, and sometimes into the campfire.

In fact, this wedding had all the same dramas, reconciliations, and reunions common at those events. For me it was a chance to see and interact with people outside a five block radius of my apartment, which rarely happens. Being in the woods can actually be fun as well, which sounds obvious, but I rarely get out there anymore. It reminds me of something the philosopher Coach McGuirk said, "Camping isn't fun, it's not supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be so bad, that it builds character. So that we can all say we survived it together. That's what it's all about." Still, the collection of characters in attendance was so top-notch, I hardly realized that only a thin sliver of nylon separated my sleeping body from a city of hostile dirt mites.

So congratulations, Gallaghers, on a successful wedding and I wish you all the happiness in the world!Posted by Hello

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Music Part II

A close friend once said that the phase "They're really big in Europe" always sounds apologetic, like it's an excuse for something. Nevertheless, here's a band that's really big in England, and it's just our loss. The Libertines are fantasic. If this country can't appreciate them, that's tragic. Tragic, yes, but not nearly as the inevitable, impending tragedy that is The Libertines. These guys antics would make a career publicist very happy, except it's all unfortunately true. In a review of their last CD, Alex Pappademas mentioned lead singer Pete Doherty's "epic substance abuse problem." In-deed. Not since Sean Ryder of the doomed Happy Mondays has there been such a lack of self-control.


Here's a little Libertines history:

  • -They become the most popular band in England, according to NME magazine. Doherty has a falling out with lead guitarist Carl Barat, failing to show up at some shows.
  • -On one absent night, Doherty breaks into Barat's flat, steals some equipment, gets caught, and thrown in jail for two months.
  • -Barat takes the rest of the band to the states to tour.
  • -Doherty says he plans to form his own band, also named The Libertines.
  • -Upon his release, Barat and Doherty pull things together, go back into the studio with Clash frontman, Mick Jones producing.
  • -One night after recording, Barat retires to a hot tub with a bottle of whiskey. As he gets out, he slips and falls face-first into the corner of the sink counter, breaking his cheekbone and detaching his retina. Not fully knowing what happed due to his drunken haze, he goes to sleep only to wake up on a bloody pillow and unable to see. Two operations later, he can see again.
  • -The band starts to tour. One night, Doherty disappears from the stage for an extended peroid, only to reemerge covered in sweat and energetic, telling the crowd he just needed to go for a jog.
  • -At another show, enthusiastic fans break through the wall and the band completes their show on top of parked cars on the street.
  • -Another Barat-Doherty falling out due to Doherty's heroin addiction.
  • -Doherty checks himself into a rehab clinic at a Thailand monastary, flees, and spends the next 3 days in a Bankok hotel room, having only heroin room-delivered.
  • -The band, sans Doherty (again), now heads to the states to tour.
So they're coming to the Fillmore soon. I guess I'll go, because the way I figure it, these guys could die any day now. Either that, or they're the next Jagger and Richards -utterly indestructable. I still hope to see the full band someday. To all of you who went to Cochella two years ago and saw them all, count yourselves very lucky.

Oh yeah, here's the cover of their latest CD:


I don't think anyone can argue this isn't a great picture of one guy holding up his on-again/off-again friend while he searches for his last uncollapsed vein to shoot something he bought in the men's room into. That's fucking teamwork!

-And both their CD's are great.
Posted by Hello

Let's just forget about all that.

Let's not bicker over who hasn't written what. We all know who's at fault here.

So onto Music! Music Photos! Exhibit A:


I almost want to open this up to the floor and sponsor a "Best Caption"contest, but the prize would be merely my admiration (so feel free). Okay, my first reaction/joke when I saw this cover was, "Did Jack Black quit Tenacious D? And who are those other 3 people?" But after further reflection (and hours of staring) I've concluded that, although I've never been approached by a deranged doomsday cult, this must be what it looks like. Stare into Frank Black's eyes and tell me he's not saying, "Won't you come join me in the tail of the comet? The human form can be so constricting."

Actually, he's more likely saying, "$40 a ticket with a $10 internet convenience fee, please." -That's what I paid for a ticket to see the Pixies. Incidentally, I'm selling those tickets to the Friday Greek Theater Show in Berkeley (anyone interested?), and not because of some unfortunate music magazine photo. Despite that unpleasantness, I'd still love to see them. Alas, I'm going to a good friend's wedding, one that he's assured me he and his wife will slow dance to "Debaser". So, although I'd love to, I will not be joining Frank, Kim, Joey, David, & Kim's junkie sister for a spiritual bon voyage glass of Kool-aid out of a trash can. For those who are going, though, enjoy the flight!

If you get a chance, page through the Spin article, there are some priceless photos of a younger, more streamlined Frank Black. Makes me feel old.
Posted by Hello