Derelict Junction

Providing missile launch codes for foreign cryptographers everywhere.

Sunday, July 25, 2004


Here we go...

First off, Jason Varitek lived every New England baseball fan's dream when he slugged Alex Rodriguez in the face last night (New England, parts of Seattle, Texas, and the US proper). Bravo, Jason! Initially, he was only walking out in front of A-Rod to keep him from charging his pitcher. While A-Rod launched multiple explitives towards the mound, Varitek remained calm and told him to shut up and take his base. In respose, A-Rod tried to re-direct his words to a target substantially closer, which he soon found out has more immediate consequenses than someone standing 45 feet away. Immediately after he suggested to Varitek, "Fuck you too!", he was met with a double-fisted blow to the face. Now, there's a lot of advantages to having truck-fulls of money, but obviously that won't exempt you from a beating you might deserve. Although he probably didn't realize it, that one extra-curricural maneuver all but assured that the Sox will re-sign Varitek at the end of the year when his contract is up. Everyone wins.

More thoughts on the rivalry:
Before tonight's game, ESPN interviewed fans entering into Fenway Park and a couple of the Yankee fans complained the Sox fans are obnoxious. No Doubt, but if there's one group of fans that make the Sox fans seem civilized, it's ego-centric Yankee fans. Compared to the rest of the country, both Fenway and Yankee Stadium are cave-man conventions, but for a Yankee fan to complain about Sox fans, would be the same as complaining that the Sox have an over-sized payroll (second highest in the league, but still 60 million less than the Yankees).

While watching Friday's game, I once again playfully referred to Yankee Japanese left-fielder Hideki Matsui as "Jackie Chan", to which I was imediately told how racist and inappropriate that was. Tonight I'm reminded that Matsui's official nick-name is "Godzilla". So how the hell is "Jackie Chan" inappropriate, but the Japanese fire-breathing product of nuclear-phobia fine?

Aye, how come Yankee right-fielder, Gary Sheffield gets to defy the Yankee rule prohibiting facial hair? Even though it's one of those weak, 14-year old Metal-head pube-staches, it's still officially a mustache. Is there a discipline problem in the Bronx?

Jason Giambi. Initially, it was reported he caught an infection from Sheffield. No big deal. Then, it was reported he had some mysterious parasite. They managed to curb it's effect with medication, but it still hasn't gone away and they're yet to know exactly what it is. I fully expect, and hope, whenever he returns to the line-up he collapses while playing first base, only to have a small alien burst out from his abdomen, surprising everyone except John Hurt and Sigourney Weaver. Seriously, though, I do hope Giambi returns to perfect health. It would be horrible if he has some deadly new disease. I mean, there's already one disease named after a dead Yankee, how horrible would it be if we had to recognize "Jason Giambi's Disease" as well as Lou Gehrig's Disease? To this day, there are still some confused residents in the Bronx who refer to airplane crashes as a "Thurmond Munson Event".



At 9:31 PM, Blogger History-Class said...


At 7:24 AM, Blogger J Shifty said...

I started this account for the sole purpose of heckling YOU. Why blog my own heart when I can snipe at real artists and their feelings?

First off, if you hadn't noticed, Jacke Chan is Chinese and Godzilla is Japanese. Matsui is Japanese. You may as well call Matsui the "Khmer Rogue" or "Imelda". Time to brush up on your Southeast Asian trash culture, bub.

Secondly, I guess I agree with everything else you say. I'll shut up, now.

At 8:33 AM, Blogger job opportunitya said...

I look for blogs as great as your work. Fine
blog. I found your site suitable for another visit!
Search for my awful plastic surgery celebrity blog, please!


Post a Comment

<< Home